Dear Howard the Duck-

Really? Duck breasts? Let me tell you why this doesn’t work.

Now, while I am not a “big city scientist,” I am fairly sure that the function of human breasts is to feed your mammal child.  Right? Correct me if I’m wrong, but cold blooded creatures like Ducks, Dinosaurs, and Platypi do not need breasts, or nipples.  Now, I know you take place in the distant future, and while I haven’t actually seen you, I even believe you take place in space, but I refuse to believe in a space where Ducks have voluptuous breasts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DERmfnQwhAU

Watch the clip, and understand my frustration.